Inside Doug's Head

I am not a number, I am… What's that stuff they make glue out of? I'm that. Forever swirling, forwards and upwards, but always sticky. Sometimes, a little sad.

Apparently, as the stories were paraphrased to me by an illiterate wino (maybe she said widow? I wasn’t actually listening), Jesus cured the leopards, made the lame nerds cool, and defeated the high school swim team by walking to the finish line, but he never once offered to heal anyone’s hemorrhoids. Why is that? Shoulder …

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He was born with a gift of laughter and a sense that the world was mad. I was born lacking physical coordination and knowing that the world is F’d in the A. One of us got the better deal.