Rubber gloves are not just about clean toilets, dishes, hot water, and caustic oven cleaners. They are also great for vulgar crimes and getting away with murder. It’s about fingers in latex, and decided choices before the police arrive. It was an accident! He slipped and fell on the knife… twice.
Perhaps, he just stopped breathing! would be more believable. Practice your emotional breakdown. Squeeze a lemon in your eyes to make those tears seem real. For God’s sake! Take off the gimp suit, Mother.
Remember, every contact leaves a trace. The lies incriminate, but it’s the traces of DNA that will convict you. Explode a monkey at the crime scene, if you have one. It will confuse the investigators.
Don’t forget to dispose of the rubber gloves in your neighbor’s trash. They are always up to no good, the dirty circus freaks, with their cadre of trained monkeys and elephants. Yeah, that’s it. Point the gloved finger elsewhere. You don’t have to be tried and found innocent, just not guilty.
In case you were wondering.
—DG
Inside Doug's Head 
You jest, but I have actually managed to stab myself twice. The genetic disposition for clumsiness in my family tends to only manifest after we’ve had the opportunity to breed, so the defect never has a chance to self-correct.
That’s awesome! I was actually just thinking about writing something on the Darwin Awards, that evolutionary pressure is only applicable before reproduction. Thanks for your comment!