Inside Doug's Head

I am not a number, I am… What's that stuff they make glue out of? I'm that. Forever swirling, forwards and upwards, but always sticky. Sometimes, a little sad.

Guests—friends and people you don’t know—come to visit you, and you want to feed them finger food, but neither one of you has any idea where their fingers have been, and they are most likely covered in germs and sin. What do you do? Well, here is a classy little trick that I learned from traveling on my country’s national airline years ago, long before they replaced customer service with neglect and abuse.

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Today, I did some further testing with that AI known as Chat GPT. I am trying to demonstrate to people how predictable the thing really is. To do so, I have generated TV episode scripts with slight input variations, and you’ll see that the resulting story structures are identical. Never mind the individual words. Whether the protagonist was terrified and he ran way fast, or he was really scared and got out of there quickly, it’s the same thing. Somebody saw something they were afraid of and ran away with great haste.

The following stories were written by Chat GPT and are genuinely very weak. Sad, even. Feel free to skip, or skim, over them. I put zero effort into their construct, so no harm, no foul.

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Just look at those shiny things. I watched the entire video, scaling and frying a red snapper. Fourteen ads for financial services and medications that I do not need. This scene, was not in the video. Congress should pass a law preventing this sort of deliberate manipulation.

Just look at them! Somewhere, I know they’re real and they exist. How do you search for that? Seriously. I need to know.


A senior H’s executive that I know claims that they have already filed the paperwork to change the name of the Hershey’s Chocolate Company to HimHes Solid Brown Sugar Stuffs to better reflect the current male dominance on various female archetypes. Her-She’s just wasn’t carrying the weight with the LGBTQ-plus the mentally ill crowd anymore.

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