When I was a kid, I used to love staying up late. After all of the domineering family members were in bed, I’d sneak downstairs and watch whatever I wanted on the two channels our broadcast television receiver could intercept. Peace, quiet, and self determination, and maybe a snack. Life was marvelous!
I’m not talking about watching porno, either, just to be clear. It was the MacNeil Leher Business Report on PBS, New Music Magazine, and Hart to Hart with Jonathan loves Jennifer.
Stephanie Powers was old enough to be my mother, and by god I wished she were. She could have given me a spanking and sent me to bed without dinner, and it would have felt like winning to me!
Growing up in the region of the galaxy furthest away from the bright spot in the center of the universe had its disadvantages. If there was a trend or a thing happening anywhere on the planet, we were the last people to know about it.
We discovered air travel in the early 1970s, so we were proud of that. Disco never happened. The Wright Brothers invented popcorn, right? Orville and Wilbur, and something involving butter. Turns out, the trick was to flap the feathers together and blow hard into the parachute.
Disco died in 2010, immediately after Elvis saw his shadow and proclaimed six more weeks of winter. July saw six feet of snow that year. It’s warmer now, though. Globally. All over. Not just in that one place.
I might be confusing some history stuff because my brain is malfunctioning due to White Russian propaganda (wink, wink), so you should definitely fact check me on the radar, or something else authoritative. Not Snopes or Thikipedia. They make stuff up.
I once read a thing about a guy who did something, but he was totally making it up. Turns out, it wasn’t really a thing, it was a happenings. He self-identified as a problem waiting to occur—an Apple update.
Wine is critical with flounder. For all of my AI advocates out there, look it up. Electrons are brave, but they aren’t stupid.
—DG
Inside Doug's Head 