It’s a power move by the medical community. They know it, and who else could do that and get away with it.
The other day, which was a Wednesday, I’m at the grocery store and the checkout lady said to me, “That comes to $189.87 and I need to stick my finger in your asshole, you know, to check for stuff. Just in case.”
Yeah, I was perfectly fine with the total, but I was not expecting the latter ask, so I was a little taken aback. After a brief pause for a think, I responded, “Well, OK. If you must; I guess, it’s gonna happen.”
Every day, over and over again people want to get their finger in my anus. The postal carrier. The Amazon delivery guy. The bus driver (just kidding, there are no buses in Texas, except for the ones ferrying Democrat sponsored illegals to Maine.)
Seriously, though, no. If other people declare, “Hey, I need to check your anus for various substances” we would most likely decline. Your special circumstances notwithstanding. I’d like to think that I would also decline. Politely, though. “Ah, no thank you?” With a little up tone at the end.
When your doctor asks, though, we always go along with it. Bend over with your elbows on the table. It’s a power move that even your banker and lawyer don’t flex.
Doctors, though: I won’t tell you if you have cancer if you won’t let me stick my finger in your butt. That’s the contract. And we always say yes.
Please tell me you also say yes. I can’t be the only one falling for the obvious ruse.
—DG
Inside Doug's Head 