I must be afraid of the dark, because I don’t like to sleep at night. I have recurring nightmares where I am being chased by weird, homely children with plastic scissors, and I can’t run fast enough to get away. The experts say that we need eleven hours of sleep each night, and thirteen hours …
A fully loaded B-24 Liberator bomber dropping 8,000 pounds of bombs over enemy territory. My poop went down and I went up in reaction to Newton’s turd law of motion. You stunk my battleship!
When he emerged from under her blue knitted dress, his beard glistened with her ecstasy. He was tired, hot, and sweaty from his purposeful labors in the late summer heat. His face reeked of ass, and he knew that now was not a good time to buy milk from Trader Joe’s. He would need to …
An encounter with orcs. Last night, as I was walking home from a modest outing in downtown Sunnyvale, the home of Buffy’s hellmouth, I witnessed a homeless person, formerly known as filthy vagrants, hanging around the west side entrance (a dead end world), waiting for someone to open the gate and let them in so …
Imagine you have the hiccups. Probably from drinking. One every two seconds. Hiccup. Hiccup. There’s nothing you can do about it. Holding your breath. Sugar under your tongue. Slow breathing while staring at a Pamela Anderson Playboy centerfold. Hiccup. Hiccup. Hiccup. 1989. Hiccup. I still have a copy. Hiccup. Hiccup. In a box… hiccup… in …
Inside Doug's Head 