Wise financial advisors recommend buying gold to hedge against the impending global monetary collapse that is due any day now. It’s been any day for the past few decades, but incipient nonetheless. Thanks Obama, but I think lead would be a better choice than gold, and Campbell’s finest soup would be better still. Think about it.
—DG.
Inside Doug's Head 
Soup yes, lead not so much. Lead kills you and while messing up your brain, gold is pretty inert, while Campbell’s chicken soup has been known to heal you (if your not a chicken). So gold over lead, but soup over gold.
Perhaps my vagueness was unclear. The lead is for bullets. Without bullets, anything you think you own is not going to be yours for very long.