Inside Doug's Head

I am not a number, I am… What's that stuff they make glue out of? I'm that. Forever swirling, forwards and upwards, but always sticky. Sometimes, a little sad.

After pondering and ruminating about the universe for a considerable amount of time, and waking up on my living room floor for the third time this week, I have come to the conclusion that I really need to do something better with my life. Or, maybe my life needs to do something better with me. Either way, one of us is letting the other down, and it needs to stop.

On the inside, I often have the feeling that when the real owner of my existence gets back, he’s going to be really pissed at the mess I have made of things. So, it is not surprising that my current employment situation requires that I start looking for work again. Also unsurprisingly, I am not very interested in doing that. Looking or working.

They both lack appeal, and I have lost all interest and motivation for doing either one. To me, Engineering has become entirely blah, and I would rather be making artisanal charcuterie or cheese than working with tamed electrons. No regrets, but I would not recommend doing a late life Ph.D. because you are more than likely to get bored with your field of specialty long before all of your education related debts are paid.

Work: we spend so much time looking for it, are thrilled when we finally find it, and quickly become disillusioned by it. So, it seems that nothing remains fun when it’s required of you.

Looking: please impress me with skills I don’t have and am unable to properly assess. If there are zombies and a bridge, and one of you is slow, can you milk a rabbit and evade Chinese nationals? Sorry. I don’t do tests. The answer is seven. I have no other skills; I have been doing this one since I was four years old. This is it.

Teaching college is a rat race, and the problem with a rat race is that even when you win, you’re still a rat. In the public sector, Silicon Valley startups have their appeal, but their lack of discipline and organizational structure make dealing with them, oh, so tiring. They all think they are smarter and better than everyone else, that the fundamental rules of economics don’t apply to them, and if you don’t believe in their preordained success, then the problem must be with you. It’s a schtick that gets old pretty quick. They all can’t be Uber.

Yeah, my future is in meat or cheese. Maybe both. Or, whiskey tasting. Someone who stays up all night long tasting whiskey and writing about how great it would be to have that job. I’d be really good at it. Especially, with some meat and cheese.


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