Inside Doug's Head

I am not a number, I am… What's that stuff they make glue out of? I'm that. Forever swirling, forwards and upwards, but always sticky. Sometimes, a little sad.

It astounds me that people believe billionaires are not screwing with us. Socially, politically, economically. That’s just a conspiracy theory, they retort. I don’t believe any of that.

A billion dollars is a lot of money. Not just, I can buy a nice house and retire money. No. It’s, I can buy several nuclear submarines and invade a continent, kind of money. If you had that kind of money, are you telling me that you wouldn’t do stuff to mess with people? I know I would. I would buy myself a TV show where I would tell everyone that pants were invented by Santa (or Satan) and were the product of the big pants lobbyists. Time is a conspiracy invented by the Swiss, and water is only safe to drink if it comes from a bottle. There is no God, only toothpaste, and fluoride is his profit.

The times we are living in are being cynically defined by billionaires screwing with each other. Bezos, Trump, Turner, Soros, Gates, and even the goofy one from Facebook. They each want to rule the world, in their own delusional vision, and they manipulate the masses to get what they want. Please don’t fall for any of it. Remember, it is not a theory when people are actually conspiring to get you, and these people are not thinking of your best interests.

Look after each other. Only your neighbors are on your side. Forgive me Karen, for I have sinned. Blessed are thee among the non-binary gendered patriarchy, for zhe is great among zhose.

Billionaires. Fuck’em.


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