You know how some people under the social pressures of hardship and adversity say dumb shit like, “I hope to be a role model and a source of inspiration for my children”?
Yeah, well I hope to be a cautionary tale. “Hey, kids! Don’t do what daddy did, because, as it turns out, there’s no anecdote, and the three words you don’t want to hear from a judge are, life, no parole.”
Anecdote, not antidote, as in, no story worthy of a life lesson. Just drugs, alcohol, and a misspent youth. A cautionary tale. Don’t do what Johnny Don’t does, because Johnny Don’t does what Johnny done do, so don’t, or do, do. Whatever. I’ve lost track.
No submarines were harmed in the derangement of this verisimilitude. Remember, blindly following billionaires with great ideas and no education is called ‘suicide by proxy’.
—DG
Inside Doug's Head 