No offense, and I don’t know any vampires personally, but from what I’ve seen in movies, vampires are very wasteful eaters. Imagine Cookie Monster going HAM on a box of Lorna Doone’s finest; it’s all, “Nom nom nom nom nom.” With crumbs and cookie bits going everywhere.
Vampires take one bite of someone, let them bleed out, and then immediately move on to the next victim. Crumbs and people bits be flewin everywhere!
It’s almost as if they aren’t doing it for sustenance, but they might actually just be getting off on the killing. Possessed by some sort of lust, except with blood. I don’t think there’s a name for that.
Really, I haven’t given it a lot of thought, but I imagine that if I killed someone to eat them, I could make it last for days, like a turkey after thanksgiving.
Sandwiches and reheated leftovers would probably last for weeks. Compared to a turkey, people have plenty of meat on them. When you are done with the fleshy parts, you can make a nice soup with the bones. You would need a pretty big pot, though.
Vampires don’t seem to want leftovers, and they never finish eating what they just killed. Very wasteful.
No, I don’t think I like vampires, and I won’t be inviting any of them for dinner.
No offense, if you’re a vampire.
—DG
Inside Doug's Head 