Have you ever seen those maps in the mall with the arrow and annotation that reads, “You are here“? How do they know where we are? Are they tracking us?
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Have you ever seen those maps in the mall with the arrow and annotation that reads, “You are here“? How do they know where we are? Are they tracking us?
Continue readingAs part of my recent self improvement follies that were triggered as a side effect of my not drinking, I have started to try to ascertain why I am such a cranky old man. To that end, I have discovered the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) mechanic, something that is not new, and I did not originally discover it. It is only recently that I found out about it since I never went looking for it sooner, because I never needed it, and probably still don’t.
Continue readingAccording to the keepers of such information and other fun facts, every breath you take contains a tiny piece, in the form of dust, of every person who ever lived. Ow, I just got a piece of Elvis in my eye!
Well, I submit to you that every hot tub, spa, and pool in every resort, hotel, and apartment complex contains a little bit of bum juice from every person who ever wetted their crusty fiddly bits in them. Even Hitler’s. Yes, that’s right, you just waded into a pool tainted with juice from Hitler’s taint.
—DG
It has been four weeks since I decided to give up drinking, and boy, am I thirsty! Seriously, though, I would like to say that my mind has never been sharper, and I have lost a ton of belly blubber simply by cutting out the copious amounts of alcohol that once gave my life meaning. Of course, it’s a lie; I am just as stupid and still fat, and the cumulative 23 year hangover is practically killing me. The lack of alcohol makes me even more surly, and I am now uncomfortably aware of how many aimless, shiftless zombies there are in California. They all buy their organic grass fed brains at Trader Joe’s.
Continue readingTrue story, this. My mother in law lives in Canada, and she is demented. Some might say that she suffers from dementia, but to be clear, she has dementia and it is everyone around her who does the suffering. She lives in a home with other old people, some of whom have dementia and others have different issues. Whatever the situation, they are all biding their time, waiting for the inevitable.
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Inside Doug's Head 