Whenever friends or family are leaving after visiting me, I always say to them, “drive careful.” I know it should be, drive carefully, but I like the casual informality the grammatical irregularity creates—be careful. Still, I wonder if as they are driving home, they ever think to themselves, “I could recklessly run that yellow light …
Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about time travel. If I were to invent only one thing in my lifetime, I want that one thing to be a time traveling machine. Unfortunately, I already know I don’t invent one, because the first thing I would do with it would be to go back in time …
Who, what, when, where, and why? Wine, whiskey, www, Wally, and whiskey. There’s one more. Wait. That’s it, wait! Wait for way more whiskey! I stand corrected. What are you looking at? Nose face! FYI, lesbians hate it when you smell their faces. You know, because of reasons. —DG.
A few million years ago, the people of planet earth figured out that if they jabbed a ring through the nose of an angry 2400 pound animal, they could make it do their bidding by tying a rope through the ring and pulling really hard. Even after all these years, Bill Clinton is still trying …
This post is not actually about JS. Ok, I just wanted to see if there would be any repercussions to filing a false Jussie Smollett report. What a stupid name, Jussie. Right? It’s like Jessie, except spelled wrong, like Mery, Bib, or Jine. Run, Duck, run! Ask Stove if he wants to play, too. Here, …
Inside Doug's Head 