Inside Doug's Head

I am not a number, I am… What's that stuff they make glue out of? I'm that. Forever swirling, forwards and upwards, but always sticky. Sometimes, a little sad.

Wow! I am so dumb! I only just now figured out that the initialism ‘AI’ stands for artificial intelligence, which is a topic where some computers, and apparently a lot of people, pretend like they are smart. I thought it meant artificial insemination, and I couldn’t figure out why more people were not upset about the blatant perversions of nature that were obviously taking place.

Mentally replaying past conversations I have recently had with people, I think I now understand why they were getting so angry with me. It seems a bit embarrassing, now, that I suggested companies like Google were only interested in AI because they are a bunch of perverted weirdos who get off on watching computers copulate, and positing that widespread internet pornography is going to inevitably lead to a deeper problem of computer viruses and unwanted pregnant hard drives.

At least I can take solace in that I didn’t completely lose the meaning of artificial insemination, right? We are talking about about robots gettin’ it on to bring about the end of human civilization? Elon Musk said it best, I think: “We all secretly like to watch robots in the act of the dirty deed, but I don’t see how this state of affairs can end well for people.” Something like that.

So, there you have it. Just when you think you understand something about the complex modern world we live in, you find out that intelligence is not the same as insemination. It’s a little humbling, but it’s a sad day when you don’t learn something.


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