Inside Doug's Head

I am not a number, I am… What's that stuff they make glue out of? I'm that. Forever swirling, forwards and upwards, but always sticky. Sometimes, a little sad.

It’s 2am, the whiskey is nearly gone, and I have been posting comments on YouTube. Do you know where your children are?

Ah, man, that’s a really shitty segue; even worse than the two wheeled vehicles. It’s intended as a throwback to a 1990s PSA, but here it seems like a creepy threat. After the news, they used to do this thing, it’s 11pm, do you know where your children are? Back then I didn’t have children, so I would answer, No! or, In my testicles waiting to meet their mother!

Honestly, I don’t have your children, and I didn’t do anything to them. If they are missing, it’s your fault. Mine was a rhetorical question, not a confession!


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