It’s 2am, the whiskey is nearly gone, and I have been posting comments on YouTube. Do you know where your children are?
Ah, man, that’s a really shitty segue; even worse than the two wheeled vehicles. It’s intended as a throwback to a 1990s PSA, but here it seems like a creepy threat. After the news, they used to do this thing, it’s 11pm, do you know where your children are? Back then I didn’t have children, so I would answer, No! or, In my testicles waiting to meet their mother!
Honestly, I don’t have your children, and I didn’t do anything to them. If they are missing, it’s your fault. Mine was a rhetorical question, not a confession!
—DG.
Inside Doug's Head 