Inside Doug's Head

For all your intelligence, you seem unable to know where you are wanted.

Have you ever had really dry hands? Not as in the opposite of wet, but dry as if you dipped your mitts into a vat of acid.

You put lotion on them because the skin is peeling, like an apple getting undressed for an appearance in a pie. You use the good lotion; Lubriderm, or the special one the blue-haired guy sold you, with CBD and heroin in it.

As you twist your hands around each other, rubbing the lotion in, waiting for it to become non-slippery enough that you can open the whiskey bottle with one hand, you think, this feels entirely wrong and completely unfamiliar.

Dry skin. It’s an odd use for lotion. Just like sneezing is a weird waste of tissues.


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