Ground control to Major Tom: We’ve seen your butt in zero G and it looks… fat. Oprah fat. Ground control to Major Tom: You didn’t call. We assumed you were dead, so we contacted your mom. She seems concerned. Ground control to Major Tom: We don’t know how it happened, but we killed your dog. …
Thirty years ago I was promised that the current volume of miscarriages and abortions would provide humanity with all of the stem cells we would require to support us in our geriatric years. I was all in favor, as were the Clintons, Bushes, et al.
They should consider transplanting Anne Heche’s brain into Joe Biden’s head. She really wanted all of her vital organs to go to those who are most in need.
That’s it! I’m tired of being nice, and I’m not going to do it anymore.
If you think it’s easy to throw an axe and make it stick, think again. You have to be at just the right distance, with just the right spin for the blade to make right angle contact with the target and dig solidly in there. Otherwise, it just bounces helplessly to the ground.
Inside Doug's Head 