As I sat waiting for my flight, a voice over the PA system regularly reminded me that smoking is not permitted in the airport. Considering that smoking in airports was banned in 1976, 47 years ago, it seems like an awfully long time to keep reminding people of something that has become the expected behavior. …
The reason there are no unicorns today is because when Al Gore built the ark to house the animals two by two to save them from global warming sea level rise, he didn’t notice they were both trans unicorns. One was a horse who identified as a unicorn, and the other was a zebra wearing …
A fully loaded B-24 Liberator bomber dropping 8,000 pounds of bombs over enemy territory. My poop went down and I went up in reaction to Newton’s turd law of motion. You stunk my battleship!
When I was in high school, I had an English teacher named, Joyce, first name, Mrs. Every day for the 50 minute duration of class, she would drone on and on about the dark societies of Dostoevsky, Saljinizin, Orwell, and that guy who died in the Nazi concentration camps for saying everyone was stupid, Dietrich …
The government warning label on the back of a bottle of whiskey is problematic. (1) Pregnant women should not drink alcoholic beverages because of the risk of birth defects, but whiskey was there when they got pregnant. Plus, I am not a woman, nor will I ever be a woman, so the warning is irrelevant …
Inside Doug's Head 