“Lorem ipsum,” said the man in the yellow hat as I entered the room. “Dolor sit amet, with my monkey?” he inquired and consectetuer adipiscing elit. I nodded politely, but without commitment. After a short pause he suspendisse vel ante. “I took him from the jungle after I killed his mother,” he bragged donec luctus …
I hear about them on the news: Vietnam, Colombia, Sudan, Nicaragua, and just about all over the world, but usually in jungle areas, armed gorillas attacking towns, villages, and government operated facilities. I don’t understand it. Why are the gorillas so angry? Did someone hide their bananas? More importantly, where did they get the guns? …
As the fictional man of steel, Superman swore to protect the weak and the innocent. If I were Superman, I would swear at the weak, the innocent, and anyone else who happened to get in my way. My days would be spent walking around town, taunting and laughing at people, mocking them for how they …
Every summer, my parents, probably out of some sense of responsibility for enriching our lives, would drag my slightly older sister and me on the proverbial family vacation that often induced thoughts and plans of suicide. We had to suffer through hours in the back of a million-degree station wagon, all the while fighting over …
Hold on there, you with 911 on speed dial, I’m just being dramatic, not confessing to a major crime. My eighth-grade year was an eventful one, for it was that same year that I poisoned my English teacher. It was a dark, dreary, overcast morning and, for English class that day, we were going to …
