It’s the only place in the world where random strangers will come up to you and engage you in a complex conversation that makes you want to eat a gun. I really wish they would shut the hell up and leave me alone. I hate them so much.
It is also the only place in the world where you will see people drinking craft beer through paper straws. It’s about the environment; to each his own. Just, please leave me the hell alone.
Ya know, you could finish that long, elaborate, meandering personal story with, “and then I made poor life choices.” You suck at telling stories, but I think you know that already. Can you imagine that I might be writing one about you right now, as you speak? No? I didn’t think so.
–DG.
Inside Doug's Head 
Hi there, I read your new stuff regularly. Your humoristic style is awesome, keep it up!