Inside Doug's Head

I am not a number, I am… What's that stuff they make glue out of? I'm that. Forever swirling, forwards and upwards, but always sticky. Sometimes, a little sad.

It’s the only place in the world where random strangers will come up to you and engage you in a complex conversation that makes you want to eat a gun. I really wish they would shut the hell up and leave me alone. I hate them so much.

It is also the only place in the world where you will see people drinking craft beer through paper straws. It’s about the environment; to each his own. Just, please leave me the hell alone.

Ya know, you could finish that long, elaborate, meandering personal story with, “and then I made poor life choices.” You suck at telling stories, but I think you know that already. Can you imagine that I might be writing one about you right now, as you speak? No? I didn’t think so.

–DG.

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