Inside Doug's Head

I am not a number, I am… What's that stuff they make glue out of? I'm that. Forever swirling, forwards and upwards, but always sticky. Sometimes, a little sad.

Can we please stop pretending that paper drinking straws are a suitable replacement for plastic? When paper gets wet, it turns soggy, which is a fact I learned in the first grade when my homework got soaked in the rain and all the paper disintegrated. Same thing happens when you put a cardboard tube in a gin and tonic.

If sea turtles don’t want plastic straws in their noses, then they should stop snorting cocaine with them.


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