Inside Doug's Head

I am not a number, I am… What's that stuff they make glue out of? I'm that. Forever swirling, forwards and upwards, but always sticky. Sometimes, a little sad.

A nickname is something you call someone when you can’t remember their name, or when their name has a lot of syllables and no vowels. Often times, nicknames serve as affectionate handles for people, drawing attention to some distinguishing aspect of their appearance or personality, or perhaps to some noteworthy incident in their past. Examples would include names such as, Andre the Giant, Scarface, Pretty Boy, Whitey, and Honky. These names could refer to persons who are really big, an epileptic guy who shaves with a straight razor, a handsome though somewhat effeminate man, an albino or any white guy, and a duck, respectively.

When you refer to someone by a name that serves to highlight an aspect of their physical or moral stature in a way that contrasts the literal meaning of the name with the reality of the person, that’s an ironic nickname. Such as in situations when you call a freakishly big guy Little John, or Tiny Tim. Or, how someone called Big Cock McGee isn’t really Scottish, and how Andrew the Goat Raper doesn’t limit himself to goats—he’ll rape sheeps, pigs, and humans, too. For example. Incidentally, Andrew the Raper, seems to be the more applicable moniker, so I don’t know why they didn’t go with the more general version rather than highlighting his proclivity towards goats.

When you call someone names like, Stupid Fathead, and poke their belly while making fun of their girlish laughter, well, that’s just regular name calling. While it can be hillarious, it’s also pretty mean. So… The more you know! And knowing is half the something, something! There’s a lesson, here, that reminds me of that guy. What was his name? Greg! His name was, Greg.


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