With weak writing and lazy plots, watching the glut of failed visions on various streaming services requires a suspension of disbelief if you’re going to make it past the ten minute mark. Santa Claus Conquers the Martians seems like a masterpiece when you read the synopsis, but the execution leaves a lot on the table. …
May contain scenes of violence, sexuality, fowl language about ducks and chickens, prolonged gratuitous nudity for fun, sexual situations involving horses, graphic moral debasment of an adorable midget wearing a posh suit, meandering geriatric stories about onion prices during the Crimean War, drug use, suicide, and smoking. Wait, what? Smoking? Really? I was all-in until …
Recent personal events have me thinking about stuff, like how many witches were burned to death during the Salem Witch trials of 1962? None. It was in 1692, dummy. Okay, how many witches were burned to death in Salem in 1692? The smartasses in the room smugly state that they were all hanged. The actual …
For the Lord sayeth to Benjamin, “Be wary of those who would signal their virtue for the sake of moral superiority; them sons of bitches would rather be politically correct than actually successful, and they will diminish you and your good works.” Not a real quote from any bible or testament of any religion recognized …
Recently—today, actually—I had to travel to Canada for reasons. It has been a while since I have been back, and I am dismayed, yet unsurprised, at how much of an oppressive totalitarian dictatorship the place has turned into since my last visit over a year ago. It has become like Disney, except without the fun. …
Inside Doug's Head 