If you say, Hey Siri, please kill me now; I am emotionally broken and I don’t want to live anymore, she calls 911, or 999 in places where 9 comes before 1, like in the UK, and she rats you out to the authorities for gender wrongthink, a crime punishable by death. Total genius!
Imagine you have the hiccups. Probably from drinking. One every two seconds. Hiccup. Hiccup. There’s nothing you can do about it. Holding your breath. Sugar under your tongue. Slow breathing while staring at a Pamela Anderson Playboy centerfold. Hiccup. Hiccup. Hiccup. 1989. Hiccup. I still have a copy. Hiccup. Hiccup. In a box… hiccup… in …
There are several reasons that corn is not a global dominant species. Some of them might surprise you. Especially #4, so be sure to watch to the end, and click the like and subscribe button to be notified of new and darkly sad content.
Not to reveal any secret weaknesses of mine, but water is my kryptonite. Dry ice is fine, but I really don’t like wet water.
If the police arrest you for the suspicion of committing a crime, and they tell you that you have the right to remain silent, shouldn’t they be equally prevented from arguing or verbally escalating the conversation with you?
Inside Doug's Head 