An encounter with orcs. Last night, as I was walking home from a modest outing in downtown Sunnyvale, the home of Buffy’s hellmouth, I witnessed a homeless person, formerly known as filthy vagrants, hanging around the west side entrance (a dead end world), waiting for someone to open the gate and let them in so …
If you say, Hey Siri, please kill me now; I am emotionally broken and I don’t want to live anymore, she calls 911, or 999 in places where 9 comes before 1, like in the UK, and she rats you out to the authorities for gender wrongthink, a crime punishable by death. Total genius!
Imagine you have the hiccups. Probably from drinking. One every two seconds. Hiccup. Hiccup. There’s nothing you can do about it. Holding your breath. Sugar under your tongue. Slow breathing while staring at a Pamela Anderson Playboy centerfold. Hiccup. Hiccup. Hiccup. 1989. Hiccup. I still have a copy. Hiccup. Hiccup. In a box… hiccup… in …
There are several reasons that corn is not a global dominant species. Some of them might surprise you. Especially #4, so be sure to watch to the end, and click the like and subscribe button to be notified of new and darkly sad content.
Not to reveal any secret weaknesses of mine, but water is my kryptonite. Dry ice is fine, but I really don’t like wet water.
Inside Doug's Head 