It turns out that they are significantly more tolerable if you just stare passively at their jiggly boobs and wait quietly for the vitriol to end. Avoid direct eye contact at all cost. For the love of God, do not ask follow up questions. And how was your relationship with your father? It’s your nuclear …
Against all odds, I met him once, Horatio. A fellow of fashionable vests, but not so much like Yancy. He has bored me with his stack of a thousand rhymes, and now how bored my imagination is. Wait. Why me talkin’ ’bout dis guy? Oh, for because dat guy gives plastic bags to them who …
Just like their poultry and beef counterparts, they are grass fed, and raised without antibiotics or hormones. Raised in the wild without supervision, these scrawny, underweight humans suffer from numerous curable conditions, but it is a small price to pay for the privilege of remaining vaccination-free. The ADHD variety are force fed a diet of …
Lawyers, along with their lesser familiars from HR, people who could easily be replaced by a bulletin board or a mediocre intranet application, can readily suck all of the joy out of living life on the edge. Water parks, ski slopes, ice covered stairs, lawn darts, pull-tab beer cans, gold fish with laser guns, and …
What would James Bond do? It’s a question I ponder in my brain whenever I find myself in an awkward social situation and I would prefer my outward response be a measured, nuanced display of wit and sophistication. Unfortunately, as a social role model, James Bond’s depth is somewhat limited. He would either kill something, …
Inside Doug's Head 