Inside Doug's Head

I am not a number, I am… What's that stuff they make glue out of? I'm that. Forever swirling, forwards and upwards, but always sticky. Sometimes, a little sad.

Just like their poultry and beef counterparts, they are grass fed, and raised without antibiotics or hormones. Raised in the wild without supervision, these scrawny, underweight humans suffer from numerous curable conditions, but it is a small price to pay for the privilege of remaining vaccination-free. The ADHD variety are force fed a diet of Ritalin and Adderall, ensuring that they remain plump and lazy, and always physically underdeveloped. These kids taste some good. Fried or barbecued, try one today.


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