Have I ever mentioned how much I dislike human children? Because I do; dislike them, that is. I would not recommend having kids, either, since they are really just a trick of biology. To be fair, it isn’t really the kids I don’t like, but their parents. As Henry Kissinger once said, “There is no such thing as bad kids, just kids with bad haircuts.” Who knew the man behind the Paris Peace Accords was also a parenting phenom?
Someone recently either moved into one of the apartments near me, bringing with them a dog that they already owned, or they acquired a new dog and moved it into the apartment they were previously living in. Regardless of how it came to be, a new dog lives next door.
Several months ago, I read an unreferenced and uncredited article about how walk-in bathtubs were predicted to become extremely popular in the next few years; if I had any business savvy, I would find a way to profit from that prognostication. However, I must admit that I am rather confused by the anticipated popularity of these newfangled “water closets” (maybe that isn’t the correct term for them, but I figured it is probably derived from the same Latin root as walk-in closet, so I went with it). I realize that the lack of a high edge makes a walk-in easier to step into, I was the first one to point out that lifting your legs is a sucker’s game, but I tried taking a bath in a water closet once and I was not all that impressed by the experience.
Apps, those things that used to be called applications before the millennials stole our word for appetizer. Installable lumps of poorly written functionality for your smart device that let you do everything from getting lost in the woods to ordering food for delivery once you are there. There once was a time when only the mentally ill could indulge in the practice of yelling commandments into their hands while walking shiftlessly on a crowded sidewalk, but everyone is doing it, now, thanks to apps.
In keeping with the practice of being poorly written, they are mostly written poorly from a basis of unreliable information, woven together with incomplete error checking and weakly thought out implementations. They crash often, provide misdirection usually, and fail to live up to their expected functionality typically. Coincidentally, as do I, and some other people I know. Hey, what if apps were people? What sorts of interactions would we have with them, then?
So, many years ago, when I was younger, which is an incredibly odd thing to say because no one ever begins an anecdote, “Here is a picture of me last year when I was older.” I should just state, many years ago… and leave it at that.
Inside Doug's Head 