Inside Doug's Head

Words that Confues Me

Doug Godsoe

May 11, 2017

When I write confues, I of course mean confuse (yes, I see the red-squiggle underline and I know it is mispeeled). You see, I have many mental issues that I deal with on a daily basis: I mutter aloud to myself in public, and I can never remember which side of the tap is hot and which is cold. I often mix up my left with my right, and East or West is something that I usually have to think about. Oddly, I never confuse up and down, or North and South, so it must be some sort of complex brain wiring thing.

Anyhow, just like directions, and people’s names with their smelly faces, there are several words that I frequently get mixed up on, or words that I have to ponder which one I really intended when I accidentally use the other. I’m not talking about homophones, either, even though I confuse that one with homosexual, or concur with conquer. Sorry for making a list (how very shitty BuzzFeed of me). At least it isn’t in alphabemetical order. Neologisms can be so funny.

Ten Words to Avoid During an Interview

Doug Godsoe

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April 19, 2016

So, there is this list that enumerates ten words smart people often use, implying that if you are a smart person you would use them, too. The article’s central thesis is counter-intuitive and unsupported by any orderly reasoning. If smart people use these words (and these words are not sagacious, loquacious, or sesquipedalian), then in a very short matter of time, one of the smart people would repeat the list as Ten Words Used by Idiots to Appear Intelligent, and they would immediately stop being used by smart people. Their speech patterns would be forever hobbled, because the list of words includes the common ones such as if, could, yes, and, and their own name. Try as you might, it is difficult to find a cinnamon for your own name, unless your name happens to be a baby kangaroo.

Teachers: The Good, The Bad, The Ugly

Doug Godsoe

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March 2, 2016

My usual reaction to someone posting the typical feel good meme about how great teachers are is to roll my eyes and click the unfollow button. Teachers are great, right? With very few exceptions, the overwhelming majority of the K-12 teachers I have encountered in my lifetime have been pretty rotten people. Whether it was my grade two teacher who used to humiliate lower performing students (i.e. children) by calling them up to the front of the class for a pants-down spanking, or my teacher in grade six who took some grotesque pleasure in verbally mocking and abusing her students, my personal experience with teachers has lead me to conclude that, collectively, they are a malevolent group of power tripping sociopaths who must compensate for their low self-esteem by imposing their dark will upon a classroom full of unsuspecting children who are only there because their parents have to work.

Pandas: Nature’s Mistake

Doug Godsoe

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February 22, 2016

Recently, I watched a documentary [Nature: Animal Misfits] about pandas on Netflix. The documentary about pandas was on Netflix, the pandas were not on Netflix making a documentary. No, it was a documentary by humans about pandas, and I watched it on Netflix. I hope that is unambiguous enough.