Inside Doug's Head

Walk-in Bathtubs

Doug Godsoe

July 9, 2017

Several months ago, I read an unreferenced and uncredited article about how walk-in bathtubs were predicted to become extremely popular in the next few years; if I had any business savvy, I would find a way to profit from that prognostication. However, I must admit that I am rather confused by the anticipated popularity of these newfangled “water closets” (maybe that isn’t the correct term for them, but I figured it is probably derived from the same Latin root as walk-in closet, so I went with it). I realize that the lack of a high edge makes a walk-in easier to step into, I was the first one to point out that lifting your legs is a sucker’s game, but I tried taking a bath in a water closet once and I was not all that impressed by the experience.

If Apps Were People

Doug Godsoe

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June 30, 2017

Apps, those things that used to be called applications before the millennials stole our word for appetizer. Installable lumps of poorly written functionality for your smart device that let you do everything from getting lost in the woods to ordering food for delivery once you are there. There once was a time when only the mentally ill could indulge in the practice of yelling commandments into their hands while walking shiftlessly on a crowded sidewalk, but everyone is doing it, now, thanks to apps.

In keeping with the practice of being poorly written, they are mostly written poorly from a basis of unreliable information, woven together with incomplete error checking and weakly thought out implementations. They crash often, provide misdirection usually, and fail to live up to their expected functionality typically. Coincidentally, as do I, and some other people I know. Hey, what if apps were people? What sorts of interactions would we have with them, then?

When Life Imitates Art

Doug Godsoe

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May 17, 2017

So, many years ago, when I was younger, which is an incredibly odd thing to say because no one ever begins an anecdote, “Here is a picture of me last year when I was older.” I should just state, many years ago… and leave it at that.

Words that Confues Me

Doug Godsoe

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May 11, 2017

When I write confues, I of course mean confuse (yes, I see the red-squiggle underline and I know it is mispeeled). You see, I have many mental issues that I deal with on a daily basis: I mutter aloud to myself in public, and I can never remember which side of the tap is hot and which is cold. I often mix up my left with my right, and East or West is something that I usually have to think about. Oddly, I never confuse up and down, or North and South, so it must be some sort of complex brain wiring thing.

Anyhow, just like directions, and people’s names with their smelly faces, there are several words that I frequently get mixed up on, or words that I have to ponder which one I really intended when I accidentally use the other. I’m not talking about homophones, either, even though I confuse that one with homosexual, or concur with conquer. Sorry for making a list (how very shitty BuzzFeed of me). At least it isn’t in alphabemetical order. Neologisms can be so funny.

Ten Words to Avoid During an Interview

Doug Godsoe

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April 19, 2016

So, there is this list that enumerates ten words smart people often use, implying that if you are a smart person you would use them, too. The article’s central thesis is counter-intuitive and unsupported by any orderly reasoning. If smart people use these words (and these words are not sagacious, loquacious, or sesquipedalian), then in a very short matter of time, one of the smart people would repeat the list as Ten Words Used by Idiots to Appear Intelligent, and they would immediately stop being used by smart people. Their speech patterns would be forever hobbled, because the list of words includes the common ones such as if, could, yes, and, and their own name. Try as you might, it is difficult to find a cinnamon for your own name, unless your name happens to be a baby kangaroo.