That’s it! I’m tired of being nice, and I’m not going to do it anymore.
That’s it! I’m tired of being nice, and I’m not going to do it anymore.
At a recent visit to the dentist for my decennial checkup, he asked me how often I flossed. “You mean that stupid kid’s dance with the flappy arm thing? Never, I never do that, ever.” Shame set in immediately, for certainly it was a lie. Sometimes I do a little floss, especially if I have …
We should teach deaf people how to read braille so that they can become pen pals with blind people. Likewise, maybe we can teach blind people how to yell really loudly so they can “talk” to deaf people. I’m not sure that those two concepts are exactly compatible with each other. Someone sends you a …
Apparently, as the stories were paraphrased to me by an illiterate wino (maybe she said widow? I wasn’t actually listening), Jesus cured the leopards, made the lame nerds cool, and defeated the high school swim team by walking to the finish line, but he never once offered to heal anyone’s hemorrhoids. Why is that? Shoulder …
As a thematic group, I find doctors creepy and perverted. Every time I visit my doctor, she wants to look in my bum. Regardless of the purpose of the visit, she always has to check my bum. I need a prescription refill; she checks my bum. My ear is bothering me; she checks my bum. …
Inside Doug's Head 