Most afternoons, when I am feeling like both a teepee and a wigwam (i.e. two tents), I find sitting quietly in contemplation helps me to relax. Obviously, whiskey is involved, because I would never be able to sit still very long without it. While I am sitting and thinking, these are my deep thoughts.
Continue readingWith weak writing and lazy plots, watching the glut of failed visions on various streaming services requires a suspension of disbelief if you’re going to make it past the ten minute mark. Santa Claus Conquers the Martians seems like a masterpiece when you read the synopsis, but the execution leaves a lot on the table. For some reason, I never expect anything bad to happen in a horror movie when everyone splits up to look for a way out.
Continue readingMay contain scenes of violence, sexuality, fowl language about ducks and chickens, prolonged gratuitous nudity for fun, sexual situations involving horses, graphic moral debasment of an adorable midget wearing a posh suit, meandering geriatric stories about onion prices during the Crimean War, drug use, suicide, and smoking.
Wait, what? Smoking? Really? I was all-in until I saw that one. What is up with entertainment trigger warnings these days? They seem to be getting overly sensitive about everything.
Continue readingFor in that moment of salvation, the screen brightness was dimmed and the battery life extended by thirty minutes. Blessed be Power Manager, their lord and savior in this time of need.
—DG.
You know how E. coli and email are different things? Although they both start with an E, they are very different. Too much of one can make you sick, and the other is a strain of bacteria. Or, how a Ponzi scheme is different from a Fonzi scheme? Ayyyy! Sit on the pointy pyramid! Words that sound similar, or start or end with the same letter, well sometimes they aren’t the same things. Sometimes, they are different. Like, goat and gout. Having to convalesce in bed to recover from an attack of the goat might be a routine thing up in your country, but it’s not very common around here, so don’t get them mixed up.
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Inside Doug's Head 