In 7th grade I learned that the word masturbation means to pollute with the hand. As a result of that bit of linguistical knowledge, whenever I see someone throwing garbage on the ground at a park, playground, or school auditorium I yell at them, Hey, you! Stop masturbating in public, especially while you’re in plain sight of the children!
Continue readingThere used to be a time when you had to be reasonably attractive to be an actor. These days, it would seem that the film actor’s guild is accepting all sorts of victims from highspeed train wrecks and late term miscarriages. You don’t even have to have the right number of arms and legs anymore. I don’t want to name names, we all know who they are, but I don’t know what dark force in the universe imbued these balls of flesh putty with the self confidence to stand up and say to the world, “I know I look like the inside of a leprechaun’s reproductive junk, but I’m going to Hollywood to be an actor. Not just a porn actor, but a mainstream actor for the Chinese film and propaganda industry.”
Continue readingHow does it go? If you take the blue pill, you return to your regular, albeit illusory, life. If you take the red pill, you will wake up to reality, as painful and terrifying as it might be.
Continue readingHave you ever seen those maps in the mall with the arrow and annotation that reads, “You are here“? How do they know where we are? Are they tracking us?
Continue readingAs part of my recent self improvement follies that were triggered as a side effect of my not drinking, I have started to try to ascertain why I am such a cranky old man. To that end, I have discovered the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) mechanic, something that is not new, and I did not originally discover it. It is only recently that I found out about it since I never went looking for it sooner, because I never needed it, and probably still don’t.
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