Inside Doug's Head

It is never too late to become wise.

Television commercials are becoming increasingly and annoyingly abstract. We see cars driving along with strings on them advertising financial services, dogs running through the woods advertising car batteries, and sheep in a field advertising Old navy. The advertising agencies must think they are being clever in their obtuseness, but they continue to miss the point. Commercials should not leave us with the sense of, that was neat, but what product was it for? Even more disturbing, is the rash of talking babies in commercials. Personally, I never take investing advice from babies; they are only good at pooping in their pants, so why would I ever believe one who is telling me to sign up for an e-trade account?

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Thanks to the miracle of Netflix, and the glut of ‘C’ movies that are available (Or, is it dearth? I often get those two words mixed up. I want the one that means there are so many of them that I cannot believe people took the time to write and produce so many horrible, horrible movies, which is a situation that makes me think of death, and that word, coincidentally, looks like dearth without the ‘R’), I have been re-watching the Star Trek: TNG series episodes starting from season one. Hey, look, I only recently discovered that the internet is available on computers.

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Once again, New York prepares for the arrival of a hurricane. Seasonal storms are like Christmas chum to the retailers of hardware supplies, flashlights and batteries, portable generators, and bottled water. Selling emergency supplies to the masses who are driven by media-induced panic and beset by overwhelming fear is like selling crack to the homeless. The comfort and security that comes from knowing you have out prepared your neighbors by hoarding every last useful item on the stores’ shelves in a fanatical need to achieve a level of preparation that would make the Boy Scouts proud is certainly worth the effort. It should be an Olympic sport.

The utility companies are prepared for the storm. They even have trucks and crews “standing by” to deal with the inevitable downed power lines and the ensuing city wide blackouts. So, besides paying them Sunday overtime rates to sit around in trucks parked in front of doughnut shops for the next 48 hours, what else could they have work crews doing?

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