On some calendars, November 1st is the traditional day after Halloween, and now that I am getting to be an old man, I can start stories with, back when I was a kid…
When I was a kid, Halloween was a very special time of the year, ranking right up there with Christmas in that they both offered free stuff for very little effort. It was our chance to meet the neighbors and terrorize them.
Technically, these won’t be ribs, they will be vertebrae, but any bone with meat on it, when properly seasoned and cooked, tastes some good. Just like that monkey. Now, personally, I would prefer to start with a live cow, and after s-laughter-ing it and letting it age for three or four weeks, removing a few ribs to enjoy. Sadly, I have no cow.
Lately, I have been really trying hard to come up with some ideas for renewable energy sources. Fossil fuels are great and everything, and I am sure we will never run out of them, but they are kind of messy when they come in to contact with anything that is not made out of soap. Maybe it would be best if we left them in the ground and pursued other options for powering the machinery of the industrialized world.
OK, I will admit that my abnormal and underdeveloped brain is confounded by a great many simple things. I can never remember which side of the sink the hot water tap is on, the inner workings of a doorknob mystify me, and I am always surprised when actors appear in new movies after they are killed off in a previous one. Today, I have been giving deep thoughts to expressions that confuse me, along with a bunch of other nonsensical questions that have been taking up space in my head. Let me begin with, thinking outside of the box.
With great regularity I see articles published in student newspapers written by some idiot pretending to offer the next generation of college job seekers a leg up on their competition with a list of little known tips for mastering the job interview. These lists are ladened with gems and nuggets of employment seeking wisdom such as, dress appropriately, and look them in the eye when you shake their hand. To which, I would add, don’t stink, brush your teeth, take the aluminum foil off your head, and try not to throw poop at the interviewer. Unless you are interviewing with a deep sea salvage operation, leave your scuba gear at home. Duh? What people really need are the ten interview tips that don’t include the obvious social atrocities.
