Straightening up the living room before the robot does its vacuuming is very reminiscent of the old days of picking up your unmentionables before the human-based cleaning service arrives. Don’t want to be embarrassed by anyone finding out what a slob you are. Especially the person you are paying to clean your messes.
Continue readingMaybe I am stupid. Okay, I am definitely stupid, never claimed to be otherwise. I thought the reason we drank a Bloody Mary after a night of hard drinking was to help us sober up.
Continue readingPlease, use caution and think of the children. My children. Excuse me while I run over yours. I have places to be, and your children are homely. Ugly. Grotesque. I wrapped bacon around it and the dog still won’t play with it.
Continue readingRubber gloves are not just about clean toilets, dishes, hot water, and caustic oven cleaners. They are also great for vulgar crimes and getting away with murder. It’s about fingers in latex, and decided choices before the police arrive. It was an accident! He slipped and fell on the knife… twice.
Continue readingAs I sat waiting for my flight, a voice over the PA system regularly reminded me that smoking is not permitted in the airport. Considering that smoking in airports was banned in 1976, 47 years ago, it seems like an awfully long time to keep reminding people of something that has become the expected behavior. Perhaps they could advise people of other forbidden activities, ones that are maybe not so obvious.
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Inside Doug's Head 