Coming up with story ideas is really hard, and I don’t like doing hard things. Taking someone else’s idea and upgrading it is a lot easier, but the results can be unpredictable. Here are a couple of story ideas that I thought I would pitch out there. Let me know what you think of them.
Continue readingA social responsibility charity that I would like to start is, Overbearing Big Fathers. It would be exactly like Big Brothers, a limited liability charitable organization, except instead of giving its clients the unconditional emotional and personal support they require, it would provide a very different service. You see, there are people out there in this world who seem to be lacking the guidance and social feedback that only an opinionated, incipient alcoholic father can give. Sadly, not everyone has access to one of those, and this charity would help to change that disparity.
Continue readingIt’s water under the bridge. Forget about it. Fluvial junk under a domestic over conveyance. It’s in the past, never look back; it distracts from the now.
Continue readingGround control to Major Tom: We’ve seen your butt in zero G and it looks… fat. Oprah fat.
Ground control to Major Tom: You didn’t call. We assumed you were dead, so we contacted your mom. She seems concerned.
Ground control to Major Tom: We don’t know how it happened, but we killed your dog.
Ground control to Major Tom: Well, we did it again. Your monkey is… on the roof and won’t come down.
Ground control to Major Tom: If your car is parked outside… the lights are on.
Ground control to Major Tom: Someone broke into your apartment, your TV is gone.
Ground control to Major Tom: Things are awfully bad here, so take your time.
Ground control to Major Tom: The test came back positive. It’s cancer.
Ground control to Major Tom: Do you have my keys? I’m going to need them back. Wait. Never mind.
It goes on like that for quite a while. There’s a bunch more of them. Ground control to Major Tom: Take the stairs, the elevator is broken.
—DG
Thirty years ago I was promised that the current volume of miscarriages and abortions would provide humanity with all of the stem cells we would require to support us in our geriatric years. I was all in favor, as were the Clintons, Bushes, et al.
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