They should consider transplanting Anne Heche’s brain into Joe Biden’s head. She really wanted all of her vital organs to go to those who are most in need.
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They should consider transplanting Anne Heche’s brain into Joe Biden’s head. She really wanted all of her vital organs to go to those who are most in need.
Continue readingThat’s it! I’m tired of being nice, and I’m not going to do it anymore.
Continue readingIf you think it’s easy to throw an axe and make it stick, think again. You have to be at just the right distance, with just the right spin for the blade to make right angle contact with the target and dig solidly in there. Otherwise, it just bounces helplessly to the ground.
Continue readingAs a practical matter, I have decided to allow my facial hair to wildly overgrow, completely covering the hole that is my mouth. It will serve the same function for me as baleen does for a whale. Yes, just as a whale uses its baleen to filter trapped krill from the ocean water, I will use my overgrown moustache to filter gnats and moths from the park air. When I get hungry, I can lick the proteins from my hairs, and like ramen in a cup, I will have an instant meal. I might even incorporate some sort of sticky poisonous wax to improve the killing power of my moustache.
Wait, though. Not certain, but I am pretty sure I won’t enjoy eating gnats and moths. I should rethink this plan of mine; it seemed like a good idea at the time.
—DG
Wow! Apple won’t even try to autocomplete Ukraine. Seriously, try typing it on your iPhone. Ukulele. Ukraine. Ukulele. Censorship exists in many forms. Horse shirt! Oll Korrect!
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