YouTube is my favorite trolling ground. There’s all sorts of village idiots to be found there, and I have discovered the perfect reply to all of them.
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YouTube is my favorite trolling ground. There’s all sorts of village idiots to be found there, and I have discovered the perfect reply to all of them.
Continue readingI just had one of those moments where I had a really great idea, but I was in the middle of my other job as a YouTube troll, so I couldn’t do something about it right at that moment. I’ve got to write that thought down. It’s transportational! Transformational! One of those, what are they called? Words. What a super time we live in.
Continue readingHelp wasn’t coming. With no chance of rescue, Andrew knew he was hopelessly stranded. As he sat there in the dark by himself, his mind began to replay events of the past, and he accepted the inevitable outcome of his current, desperate situation: he was not going to make it home alive. He had survived the landing at Normandy, and three months of brutal fighting across Europe, only to die pointlessly here tonight. Somehow, he had become separated from his unit in the panic and confusion of war, and now the sad waste of it all began to fully sink in. Andrew was frightened, and he lamented under his breath, “I just want to go home. I don’t want to be here anymore.”
Continue readingAbout 100,000 years ago, probably on a Saturday, some smart monkey discovered that if you leave a soggy bowl of grain sitting out in the open, yeast, the magical fairy dust that pervasively floats around in the air, will land on it and turn it in into alcohol. Drinking that alcohol subsequently led to numerous agricultural innovations and bar fights over monkey chicks. Nature did that. Today, also a Saturday, drinking Russian vodka is a natural extension of what happens when humans nurture a monkey’s natural alcohol fueled tendencies.
Continue readingIt’s late, I’ve been drinking (surprise) and I keep pressing the buttons on my Bose headphones, thinking they give me night vision. Nope. They don’t. It’s just a pause and skip button. Three presses skips backwards. No night vision, though. It’s a shame. Missed opportunity for a great product feature. Night vision headphones. Oh, yeah, like you thought of it.
—DG.
Inside Doug's Head 