I done run out of whiskey.
I done run out of rum.
I done run out of vodka.
I done run out of them all.
I need to make a trip to BevMo!
And find a word that rhymes with all.
—DG .
I done run out of whiskey.
I done run out of rum.
I done run out of vodka.
I done run out of them all.
I need to make a trip to BevMo!
And find a word that rhymes with all.
—DG .
It has been especially cold and wet in California this winter, and consequently I thought I should do my part to contribute to the cause of global warming. I’m usually pretty comfortable with indoor temperatures in the mid 60s, but this weekend I turned the old thermostat up to 95F (the F is for Fahrenheit, not the other F’d). When it got too warm, I turned on the AC and watched as the two systems battled it out for supremacy. Enjoy it Canada! You can thank me later. Like, in the summer, when your crops don’t fail from ice storms, and your babies don’t freeze to death in July.
Continue readingDid you know that there are naked yoga videos on YouTube? Neither did I, until someone pointed it out to me while complaining that it was a thing. Won’t someone please think of the children! The admonishments of Sarah Lovejoy aside, what is the first thing you are going to do after being filled with the knowledge that naked yoga is a thing? Yeah, me too!
Continue readingThat is a difficult title to write. The two meees. No, really, what is the plural of me?As in the two people who I am, not two moose. The singular dichotomy of me. Me, as if I were two distinct people. One with a brain, and the other, differently enabled.
Continue readingIt hides your ugly face. Put one on your kids, for they are ugly too. Is their father ugly? He should wear a mask, also. Your dog is fine, though. As is your baby kangaroo.
Now, if we can only figure out a way to cover up the rest of your physical grossness. Have you ever considered converting to Islam? It has a few enthusiastic supporters, and they have solutions to your problem.
Not where I thought this one was going to go when I started, but it evolved organically. Like a fart forming internally from yesterday’s cabbage rolls. Also unpleasant. I should probably stop now, before it gets weird.
—DG.
