Or Brad Pitt. Yes; they are equivalent, and mostly interchangeable. The thing is, I would really like to be able to smite those who deserve to be smoten, and if I were an APDE, I could do that quite easily, but if I were Brad Pitt, I wouldn’t need to.
Not so much smarter, though. There’s no bionical augmentation for wisdom and sagacity. Even if there were such a thing, the six million peso man still would have made himself taller, instead, and able to leap over high walls. Some choices are easier to make than others. Legs work better for perambulation than a tennis racket and a rake.
—DG.
Wise financial advisors recommend buying gold to hedge against the impending global monetary collapse that is due any day now. It’s been any day for the past few decades, but incipient nonetheless. Thanks Obama, but I think lead would be a better choice than gold, and Campbell’s finest soup would be better still. Think about it.
—DG.
So, when was the last time time someone with an American accent called to tell you that you owe the IRS $6931.45? Yeah, me either.
Why are driving tests easy to pass, and drug tests so difficult? They should put fewer questions on the drug tests, or make the questions a little more general knowledge in nature. Americans who spend their days working in pounds and inches should not have to learn about kilograms of heroin and popular brands of nine millimeters. Drugs are hard, and you should always try to avoid hard things.
—DG
Inside Doug's Head 