How else would you market such an awful product? Leave it on the counter overnight and in the morning it will taste just like your boyfriend’s piss. That first time you experimented. Pee on me, George, piss in my face! Like a Budweiser on a hot summer afternoon, flat, yellow, and reeking of urea!
Continue readingPretty simple, really. It doesn’t take nine seasons to explain, and Neil Patrick Harrison doesn’t grow up to become the guy from Full House. What’s his name? Five letters, starts with S. Not, Pat Sajak, he’s the wheel of misfortune guy. Bob Saget. That’s the guy; he died from the vaccine or the many boosters.
Continue readingGuests—friends and people you don’t know—come to visit you, and you want to feed them finger food, but neither one of you has any idea where their fingers have been, and they are most likely covered in germs and sin. What do you do? Well, here is a classy little trick that I learned from traveling on my country’s national airline years ago, long before they replaced customer service with neglect and abuse.
Continue readingToday, I did some further testing with that AI known as Chat GPT. I am trying to demonstrate to people how predictable the thing really is. To do so, I have generated TV episode scripts with slight input variations, and you’ll see that the resulting story structures are identical. Never mind the individual words. Whether the protagonist was terrified and he ran way fast, or he was really scared and got out of there quickly, it’s the same thing. Somebody saw something they were afraid of and ran away with great haste.
The following stories were written by Chat GPT and are genuinely very weak. Sad, even. Feel free to skip, or skim, over them. I put zero effort into their construct, so no harm, no foul.
Continue readingA hammer costs a dollar more than a nail, and a hammer plus one nail costs $1.10. How much does cosmetic surgery cost in Mexico, if the price of a funeral isn’t covered, even with an apology from the Cartel?
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Inside Doug's Head 