Inside Doug's Head

It is never too late to become wise.

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Doug Godsoe

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May 4, 2023

At least to me:

Paris May Day protest turns ugly as French people show up to protest. French peeps are/is/always shall be ugly, FYI. It’s the face. Right there, in the face. Homely. Face.

Former prosecutor turned star witness says she won’t be silenced, because she can’t stop talking. Husband agrees. Tried to shut her up years ago, now here we are.

Jonathan Frakes tells you things. None of them good. Many are dark. Some may lead to criminal charges against Captain Picard.

Why is it spelled “camouflage” (no q’mark.)

Cockatiel sings iPhone ringtone. Sadness ensues. Questions follow.

What if Arthur brings (should be takes) the Legendary Bullgator to the camp. Again, no question mark?

Nobody believed me when I said my cat does this: (praying for death). Watches cat eat human flesh, likely from dead elderly neighbor.

Gutfield: San Francisco is spiraling out of control. Yes, like a sick cat falling out of a short California tree. Send help.

Rabid Fox. News? No! Questions?

Lieber Gott! I need to leave California!

—DG

Sometimes

Doug Godsoe

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April 28, 2023

Every now and then I think, it would be so great to just drift off to sleep and never wake up again, like a wave landing on a beach, disappearing into the sand, or to melt away and dissolve into nothing, like an ice cube in whiskey.

And then I remember, don’t put ice in your whiskey. Good whiskey doesn’t need it. Bad whiskey doesn’t deserve it.

Mmm. Whiskey would be so great right now. Fortunately I have a bottle, and a glass. And a reason. Whiskey is the cause of, and the answer to, all of life’s problems. Just like religion.

Compare Ireland pre-whiskey to the Middle East before religion. The deterrence to rational thought is equivalent, and the subsequent induced fanaticism is comparable.

What were we talking about? Right. Bad ice. Wine and flounder, shortcakes and tuna. The inescapable sadness of existing in a deterministic universe. Pi is exactly 3.0. The hyperbola squared is equal to the lesser of two evils.

—DG

Testifying before Congress

Doug Godsoe

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April 25, 2023

Why is it that liberals under oath always sound like an unprepared 4th grader reading their Social Studies reports to teachers and classmates? It’s like they are making up their mock UN opinions as they go along with their own narrative. Bart Simpson would be impressed.

I know that our country relied on coal for a very long time, and we are very grateful for so many of the workforce that powered our nation for a very long time. Maam, I want to say that president biden believes in energy independence for our country, but that would be a lie and I took an oath before testifying. In short, maize means corn. Can I get back on the school bus that brought me here? I miss my mom.

Like an inebriated toddler, never a straight and honest answer. Congress. The opposite of progress. It’s no wonder they fret over the second amendment.

—DG

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