Inside Doug's Head

Canadian Ostriches

Doug Godsoe

February 9, 2023

You know how ostriches, when they want to hide from reality, bury their heads in the sand? It’s not true, but it’s where the expression comes from. Somebody saw an ostrich looking for a contact lens in the sand, and immediately assumed they were hiding from something, or up to no good and didn’t want to be identified.

Protein Sources

Doug Godsoe

no comments

February 4, 2023

Bill Gates has been buying vast quantities of US farm land. Not too much land for an evil billionaire, but more than Jeffrey Epstein would purchase to ensure himself plenty of privacy. Bill Gates is also cheering the youths for protesting against eating meat from traditional agricultural sources, instead of encouraging them to stay in school and don’t do drugs. Coincidentally, he’s been burning down food processing facilities. The pyro!

Winston Wisdom

Doug Godsoe

1 comment

January 27, 2023

In the words of Winston Churchill, I am not a boomer, and you are an idiot. Tomorrow, I shall not be a boomer, and you will still be an idiot.

Something like that. He was an irascible old fart, and so am I. Maybe we’re related.

—DG

You’re Tubes Ads

Doug Godsoe

no comments

January 25, 2023

You put hours into recording your content. You wrote a script, put on makeup, and everything. Practiced in front of a mirror until your mom said it was good.

Two and one half years later, 1.7k views. Ads made you $0.27. Google made more. YDFI. You dumb fucking idiot—I can say that because I don’t live on a censored platform like you do, on YouTube. You dumb fucking idiots. Appease the internet gods.

Why, for the love of Jesus, if he exists, would you waste your time and creative energy on something, anything, and then let a mega corporation stick random ads in it for the fee cents they might pay you? Idiots. Stupid, dumb greedy idiots.

When a 30 second video starts out with a 90 minute ad, followed by the message, this video brought to you by people who think you are dumb, why would we watch? We don’t. We hang up. Your own tools and metrics show you that, so… Are you stupid? Or, just assholes? Take the ads off your dumb and stupid videos you dumb fucking c*!&s. The * is a u, ! = n, cunts. Cunts is the word there. Cunts. You dumb fucking cunts.

—DG